This year my Dad and I are attempting to get a head start on the growing season with the aid of an indoor grow light and a lot of God’s grace. Maybe in a few weeks we will have some seedlings. Maybe not. My impatient and doubting nature showing through the process.

Water, light, nutrients, warmth, grace, the essentials to a seeds growth.

I laughed out loud when after minutes and minutes and much water, the soil we were attempting to use in our little potting trays would not soak up the water. I asked, almost mocking, what spiritual law is this you think…Dad and I both smiled. He said, sometimes do you think God has to disturb us, to get us to soak in the truth. You see, the water does no good unless it soaks in. Soaks in. Hear the word of God, retain it and through faith and perseverance hold on to it… allow God’s good grace to bring forth a crop. (Luke 8:15)

The next day, each little tray ready for its seed. Homemade labels marking the hopes of what may grow here.

Tiniest seeds poured out in my hand. Staring down at them, I doubt. Doubt.

How is this tiny thing possibly going to make it?

True, maybe it won’t make it. True, maybe it will. We will find out together. But there is no way to get out of this process without faith. Faith. You can’t even grow a garden without it. Even the professionals at this growing, gardening thing, who have the perfection of  controlled light, temps and soil, have to lean in, in faith. It’s still God’s good grace that breaks the seed and brings forth new life.

I don’t like being this dependent. Not knowing what will come. But I plant to grow my faith. Maybe along the way I’ll get a zinnia or a tomato plant or two, but even if I don’t,  I hope I allow God to use this process to give me more faith in Him and the patience to see Him bring the harvest He chooses.